Walk like a Penguin, Fly like a Bird

PreJump

Prejump pic with Jacob

"Walk like a penguin, Fly like a bird."
Leave your mind behind, listen to your heart.  Your mind will make you hesitate.

Our Bungy instructor was quite funny.
"Let me know if you have a heart problem, broken heart.  I don't care."

Before I left for this journey I promised friends and family I'd be the most cautious I've ever been.  The true self comes out sooner or later.  After week 2, I'm going to bungy.  I'm in the most beautiful place I've ever been and I'm about to do the scariest thing I've ever done.

I've decided a mantra is much suited for me as I do this, so..

Om fly like a bird Om

Om Let Go, Let Go 

(Frou Frou sound)  beauty in the...

I also wrote all over my journal, "If found please send to: Bethany Zick and her address" and compiled these words, in case they were my final.

I love all my friends and family, truly.  Thank you to my aunt Rosie for absolutely everything.  I just had to do this, all of it.  Don't want to choke on never take a chance.

I hope I'll laugh at these last goodbyes after I do a kick ass bungy jump.

Post Jump

one million thoughts and all I wanted to do was not think.

I was the first person to do the canyon swing.  (I flipped a coin and decided to go ahead and do bungy plus canyon swing).  Since I was the first waiting time and pressure was much lower, It was 3-2-1... and the last thought I know thinking was, "Don't not jump when you're suppose to".

The swing was amazingly fun, even on the free fall I felt my back start to recline and I internally smiled. Then, swung back and forth.  "I can't believe I'm here"

After my hike up

The hike up was fun too, all the way from the river up to a height past the bridge, even through a small village.  Four kids were kicking a bottle playing a soccer-esque game.  Then I passed a baby, a Nepali woman, a few more people.  One of which must've been an 80 year old man.  He's 80 looking years old with a cane stick climbing up and down these mountains.  I think to myself, he's most probably been doing this his whole life, always walking on inclined ground.

I thought doing the canyon jump would make the bungy easier.  Nope.  The idea of having all that angst again was a little too much at first.  Really? I'm going to make myself jump off that bridge again?  Really? But I came here to bungy so it was going to happen.  Standing by the bridge waiting, a man said to me, "Leech, leech" pointing at my foot.  I was like, "What? Where?"  But it was just the blood from when a leech had been on me.  Enter Sally, who upon seeing the blood insisted I get a wipe and clean it up, but I could not use my bandana.  She called back to Ed, who passed up some alcohol wipes.  Sally noticed my foot tattoo and she showed me her tattoo, get ready... a Phoenix!!  The phoenix has been an important symbol to me as of late so I became increasingly intrigued by Sally who looked to be close to 50.  Years ago she had been in a serious accident and she described her body as "crushed", she said she had died 3 times.  And here she was about to cross this suspension bridge with her 2 walking sticks after just spending a visit in Tibet.  Upon my tattoo referencing a bible verse she shared with me her favore bible verse from 1 John.  "Pure love drives out fear"  I appreciated the appropriateness of the driving out fear quote.  She agreed and wished me luck on my bungy and then crossed the bridge.

Finally, Group 2, my group was set to go, my wait for the bungy was substantially longer on the bridge than my wait for the Canyon Swing. If you would've asked me on the bridge, I would've said infinitely longer.  Michael got scared again too.  Sometimes up there I wanted to kick him because I was so strung out and he was making me more scared, too scared to kick him ;)  He gave encouragement too, one thing I loved, he said, "Let's make adrenaline our bitch".  Most of my time up there i was trying not to think.  The fear did not feel good, it was physical and I felt it everywhere.  It's the feeling afther that makes it though.  It's a sigh of relief from the soul, it's a release and it's felt in the chest.  When I was on the bridge I sang "You Gotta Be" to myself.  My favorite line has always been, "The world keeps spinning, can't stop it if you tried to, the best part is danger staring you in the face."

Des'ree - You Gotta Be via youtube

I learned there is a distinct variable in that, because I love danger (adventure) but absent the fear.  i hadn't experienced this kind of anxiety about anything in a very long time.  Needless to say, I made the jump, and survived.  This time my last thought before flying off the bridge was "Don't think about it, just have a nice jump." and... jump.  The immediate free fall is an OMG, what's happening.  Then the bungee back was a little harsh, and it doesn't get easy bungy jumping like it does canyon swinging with the swing in the lovely canyon, or skydiving with the open parachute over the lovely landscape.  With bungy jumping, it's work.  You're spinning in circles, and getting dizzy as the river rapids below you adding to the daze.  As they were slowly lowering me to I was thinking I may never reach that bamboo stick to bring me in, and my feet were falling asleep as I stacked them as tight as possible so my ankles didn't slip out.  

But then it's over.  

I still get weak knees whenever I think about having to do that jump again.  For me, it's not the free fall or bounce that breeds the fear, it's the jump.  Making that jump.

That's kind of life though.  Don't think too much just have a nice jump Cara.